Author: Jeff Deck

Author and administrator of this site.

Shoot for the moon. You might end up on Mars.

 

Just a quick note today about little projects that turned out bigger than their creators could’ve ever imagined.

Last year during a road trip in Vermont, I stopped in an independent bookstore and came out with two books that had caught my eye. Both were orange-tinted sci-fi books released by major publishing houses. One was Wool, by Hugh Howey. The other was The Martian, by Andy Weir.

Both books have been enjoying huge success. Wool has over 10,000 reviews on Amazon. (Most books are lucky to make it to double-digit reviews.) The Martian has even more—almost 17,000 reviews!—and, as you probably know, is about to hit movie theatres with an all-star-cast, major release by Ridley Scott.

What you may not know, and certainly what I didn’t know that day at the Vermont bookstore, is that both of these books started off as self-published e-books.

The big publishers only scooped them up for print runs after the books had achieved massive momentum all through their own effort—or rather, Howey’s and Weir’s efforts. These books started from nothing.

Read this story about how Andy Weir, just a regular dude who’s too petrified to even board a plane, carefully thought out a trip all the way to Mars. And then, of course, saw his own life shoot into the stratosphere of incredible success. You can’t help but be inspired by this kind of stuff.

And it looks like Ridley Scott’s next movie might just be Wool. They’re fixing up the script right now. Guess Scott just has a thing for sci-fi stories with humble origins!

Anyway, definitely check out The Martian before you see it at the theatre. It’s a great book with a fun voice for the protagonist.

OK, I guess it’s never just a “quick note” when it comes to my ramblings, regardless of my intentions. But here are a couple of genuinely quick notes about my latest goings-on:

1) I just had a sci-fi story accepted to the literary magazine aois21 annual, which will release next month, and

2) the Local Author Fair at the Portsmouth Public Library (NH) last night was a big hit! I sold a few books, made a few new friends, and remembered just how much fun it was to do author events. I plan to do a lot more in the near future.

Who are you trying to please?

Are you waiting for someone’s approval to move forward with your creative pursuits?

Here’s what I’ve been thinking about. In the traditional, “professional” career world, you must win permission and acceptance from others each step of the way in order to advance.

If you’re aiming to be a lawyer:

  1. First, get into law school (someone determines your admission).
  2. Next, pass the MPRE, an exam about professional conduct (someone grades your exam).
  3. Next, pass your classes so you can graduate and earn your Juris Doctor (someone determines your ability in each class).
  4. Next, pass the bar exam (someone grades your exam).
  5. Next, become certified as having “good moral character” (someone determines this about you).
  6. Finally, apply for and pay for your state license to practice law (someone approves you and takes your money).

I’m sure I hilariously screwed up some of the details above, but that’s basically the idea. There’s a similarly exhaustive process if you want to be a doctor or nurse. Or a scientist. Or a structural engineer. Or an airline pilot. Or a plumber, for that matter. You go to school, you pass exams, you get licensed, you do a residency, etc. An authority figure signs off on you at every step.

These multiple levels of gatekeeping make sense for these jobs because they’re safeguards. There are serious consequences when you fail at your job as a doctor, lawyer, or airline pilot. More or less objective standards have been built over the centuries in reaction to bad practitioners.

So. Why do we so often treat the creative fields—which are subjective—like they’re the same thing?

Of course I’m talking about writing, because I’m a writer. But I’m also talking about forming a band. Or making an app. Or painting a landscape. Creative pursuits that we, for some reason, think of in the same terms that we use for traditional careers: does an authority figure say I’m good enough?

“I can’t just do that. I need approval/validation. I need to get into this school /  sign with this label / get accepted into this studio / sign with this agent.”

Have I myself fallen into this mindset in the past? Oh, you bet. I was rejected from a dozen different MFA programs. And three dozen literary magazines. I spent years trying to please a publishing authority figure with constant rewrites of my novel manuscript.

Then one day I realized that if I bypassed the authority figures, brought my work directly to an audience, and then failed . . . I wouldn’t cause planes to fall from the sky. I wouldn’t send an innocent person to prison. I wouldn’t cause a bridge to collapse. I wouldn’t cause somebody to die on the operating table. I’d simply fail to connect with my audience. And I could try again.

The stakes were, in fact, low. I should just do it. 

Authority figures do serve a useful purpose in the creative fields. We all have a lot to learn as we master our arts. We need feedback and editors and mentors. But if and when you know you’re ready, and the authority figure(s) of your field don’t seem to be on the same proverbial page as you . . . that may be the time to step out on your own.

Make like Macklemore. Or Amanda Hocking. Or Benjamin Franklin, for that matter. Or the creators of the Elfquest comics.

Sure, you’ll still have people to please. We all have to answer to others if we want to be successful. But those people will not be authority figures—they’ll be your audience. You know, the people you were writing the story or creating the piece of art for in the first place.

Don’t be afraid to fail in front of an audience, either. Planes won’t fall. Nobody will die. And you’ll never be “disbarred” from your art, unless you disbar yourself.

As the motivational author Jeff Goins says, “Stop waiting to be picked.”

BTW, the first part of my four-part novel The Pseudo-Chronicles of Mark Huntley just came out on Amazon. And it’s getting 5-star reviews so far! Plus it’s, like, under a dollar, by one cent. If you check it out and like it, please leave me a review on Amazon.

Part 2 is coming October 2. But you can actually receive it for free, in advance, right now if you subscribe to my newsletter.

The best way to fight fear

How much is fear affecting your daily life?

Jane and I recently spent several days on a trip to California. It was an amazing trip. One we were fortunate to take. But towards the end of it, I reflected on how I could have enjoyed myself even more if I hadn’t been so afraid of so many things.

Sounds like a funny statement, right? Fear, in sunny, gorgeous California? How does that compute?

Well, it hit me one night after a long day of walking around San Francisco. Jane and I had settled into the hotel room to watch Vertigo, which is not just a classic Hitchcock movie but also a classic San Fran movie. The main characters are paralyzed by fear. One fears heights, and the other fears being exposed as a fraud and losing her man (yeah, it was the fifties).

It was easy to mock these characters—until I thought of the ways I myself had been fearful during our West Coast adventures. For someone obsessed with the potential paths to heroism, I sure had been acting like a ‘fraidy cat.

I’m going to focus on just one type of those fears today. Does the below sound familiar? And how can we counteract it?

Fear of failure

Now a lot of this is going to sound silly and first-world-problemy. Because it is.

Our friends were getting married in Big Sur, and they needed a lot of help setting up for the wedding. So a whole crew of folks set to work. I started to help Jane with stringing up some lights, and creating streamers to string up as well. But I was afraid I’d mess it all up. I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it right and would thus displease the couple of honor.

I ended up feeling most at ease while literally bashing a rock in the ground to make holes for wooden stakes in the ceremony area. I was sure I couldn’t mess that up. Talk about a low-stakes task. (HA! What does he win, Johnny?)

So what did I have to be afraid of? A scolding from the bride or groom? They were just happy to have so much help from everyone. Humiliation in front of my wife? Well, she’s seen me with my pants down before.

Nope, the harshest critic of my actions was bound to be the voice in my own head.

This same voice popped up numerous other times during the trip. Hurry up, you’re never going to make that bus. Don’t even try that activity, you’ll look like a jackass. Don’t bother striking up a conversation, that person doesn’t want to talk to you.

Hell of a voice to bring along with me on vacation. But my head was the suitcase, and I couldn’t very well not bring that along. Hmm.

Fighting the fear

Now, of course that voice telling me I’m going to fail is the same one that nattered in my ear during the years I spent writing draft after draft of my novel Player Choice. Personal and professional fears often spring from the same well of anxiety. And the professional side is what much of the advice online addresses, if you ask the internet “How can I fight my fear of failure?”

But instead of “visualizing obstacles” or writing your inner voice’s statements in the second person or performing any number of other convoluted exercises, you might find a simpler suggestion far more helpful:

Focus on the present moment.

My therapist once told me (okay, it was actually just last week) that “Anxiety lives in the future. Depression lives in the past.” Only by living in the present moment can we hope to achieve anything resembling calmness. Because when we’re inventing stories about what will happen if/when we fail, we’re completely ignoring the present.

Mindfulness is the term for focusing your attention on everything happening in the present moment. It comes from Buddhist traditions of meditation. But it’s actually becoming more accepted—and supported by data—as a secular psychological means of treating anxiety and stress.

It was right here in New England that Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn used mindfulness as the basis to establish the Stress Reduction Clinic, at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. Apparently now there are mindfulness instructors across the country and in thirty other countries, too. Though you definitely don’t need an instructor to get started.

I’m going to be giving mindfulness a shot. I’ll let you know how it goes. If you’ve had any similar struggles with fears that have been holding you back, maybe you’ll want to look into it too.

Here are a couple of books my therapist recommended to get started with mindfulness/meditation exercises: Wherever You Go, There You Are, by Kabat-Zinn, and 8-Minute Meditation, by Victor Davich.

Here’s to peace in the present moment of reality (while still putting our fictional characters through hell, of course).

P.S.: The first part of my new book is out now on Amazon! Check out The Pseudo-Chronicles of Mark Huntley: Part 1 — it’s got a bunch of five-star reviews already. Don’t worry, ol’ Mark won’t be getting over his fears anytime soon . . .